No self control...

I truly have no self control. Not only did I only complete one week of the Special K diet but I continue to eat and eat even if I am full. Why is it my body will crave the food no matter how full I am. I know it is just a mind over matter thing but why am I so weak?

I can only try again, I guess we will see if I ever loose weight. I still have been working many crazy hours so there has been no exercise trying on my part either.

Because of the hours all I do is come home and I just feel more lonely than I ever have because I don't have enough time to talk to anyone at work really and it seems I don't have anyone else I can really too and because all I do is complain about work it seems that no one ever really wants to talk to me anymore. I am sure it is all in my mind but that is the way I feel right now.

Special K diet...

While I have not had time to read "The Rice Diet" yet, I have started up on the Special K diet, well I guess it is more of a challenge than a diet but it claims you will lose 6 pounds by the end of two weeks if you trade out two meals with a bowl of their cereal. I can't say I am really losing weight by it or anything but I am at least eating more than one meal a day so my metabolism really is not freaking out and trying to keep a hold of anything my body puts into it. Of course the week end came and I blew that right out of the water.

Oh well you only live once, I will continue on... I am hoping anyway.

Loser...

Yes, no real progress in the weight loss area. I did find some old photos of me that I wish I could get back to that weight on. I am beginning to think I will never find the power behind me to get there.

Eating...

So I think I have figured out I am a "bored" eater. I just tend to eat when I am bored. I don't really eat other than to just eat sometimes. The more I think about it the more annoyed I get about it.

I also have tried to eat more evenly through out the day. This tends to fill me up more so I fill like I am eating more. I guess this is a proven theory so I will continue to try. We will see. I am sure this is more intended for those that actually get off their lazy butts and work out, but I need to continue to try more.

Eating...

So I tried harder again today and I ate many small meals. I am proud of myself, going for it again tomorrow.

Healthy choices...

I need to work on healthier choices, I did tonight by getting water instead of Dr. Pepper. One choice at a time right?

Weakness...

Being lazy, Snickers bars, Cafe Rio and Dr. Pepper, only to name a few. I give in to these all pretty easy, what causes one to be so weak? I can try and try and I successfully had stayed away from Dr. Pepper for so long but then I caved going to the store one day and there is was on sale right in front of me.

I have yet to get back into denying myself it. As a good start I made myself buy some bottled water. I need to start taking my vitamin again, that seemed to help with a lot of cravings I had.

I suck I can only try and hopefully succeed, but really I have failed so much lately. What kind of role model am I setting for my son?

Tomorrow is another day.